maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
