The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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