I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
