don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize