I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
