PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
