there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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