yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
