I think I died a long time ago.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Randomize