i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize