he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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