He passed out mid-signature
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
