hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize