I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
