we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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