called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
