it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
