I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
