i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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