There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
