last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
