do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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