am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
