South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
