Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
