I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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