New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
