Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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