Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
