brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
