How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
