i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
