I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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