We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
