Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?

(1-212): View more from New York

idk but i think it had a face

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."

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(817): View more from Texas

she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.

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(810): View more from Michigan

I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.

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(561): View more from Florida

She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.

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(909): View more from California

I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon

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(585): View more from New York

Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled

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