You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
