if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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