i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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