is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
