then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
