yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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