Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
