Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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