his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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