his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
