his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
