you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
