We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Randomize
