i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
