Your face is a jimmy john
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
