I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
