rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
