Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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