That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
