can we get nightvision for the apartment?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
