Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
