im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
