Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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