Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
